I believe that for the most part most everyone believes there is something bigger out there. A divine creator, force, or something. I don’t know how anyone can stand outside on a cool fall starlit night, look up, and breathe in the air & not sense a presence so much greater than ourselves.
We all face challenges, obstacles, bad news, & unknown situations in our life at some level. When those moments come, whatever they may be, we all ask the same type questions & wonder “why is this happening to me/us.”
As I look back on & share my Multiple Myeloma Cancer journey to this point, I have recognized something significant. Who I was becoming & and what I believed before the diagnosis was foundational to how I would choose to handle the process of all that I would face & continue to encounter in the days, weeks, months, & years ahead of me.
There is a verse that came up many times over the last year. It is Psalm 46:10. “Be still and know that I am God.”
In the book “50 days of hope” written by Lynn Eibb, a cancer survivor herself, she brings out that the word “still” is the Hebrew word “harpu.” She explains how that word actually conveys the idea of being weak, letting go, surrendering, or releasing. When we “harpu” our arms are at our sides, relaxed. That’s where we can find peace & calm.
This cancer diagnosis, as with most moments of crisis or struggle, was out of my control. At some point I had to choose how I would handle it, what I would do, & above all what I would believe. Lynn says in her book, “We relax, not because everything is ok, but because we know the One who is in control.”
Here are some other translations of that verse.
Cease striving and know that I am God.
Desist, and know that I am God.
Let be and be still, and know (recognize understand) that I am God.
Calm down and learn that I am God. (I like this one)
Look, Im not gonna tell you what to believe or how to handle things, but I do want you to know that my faith in God has helped me on my journey. I worry less. I sleep better. My mind is not as cluttered. Things don’t rattle me like they used to. Why? My perspective has changed.
Yes, I still have healthy choices to make that can aid in my healing. I still have to choose the right thoughts/outlook & not allow my diagnosis to define or control me. I still get overwhelmed & uncertain at times. I still get angry, frustrated, & act like an idiot. I still battle feelings & fears & doubts, but that’s when I have to choose to put my hands to my side, calm down, believe, & learn once again that He is God & I’m not.
Believe it or not, I find myself thankful as I write this. Not that I have been diagnosed with cancer, but that I have this opportunity to become a better version of myself, share the hope that I’ve found with others along the way, and experience personally that He really is God , He’s working in my situation (I’ve seen it over and over again) & He loves me more than I could ever imagine.
And hey, He loves you too. There’s nothing super hard about this. You just choose to believe.
Comments